By Elisabeth Strillacci
There is that funny old saying we all know about not being able to pick one’s family, and though I don’t much care for the rest of the saying, I have always been aware that in terms of family, I’ve been exceptionally lucky. Most of my family members are people to whom I’m happy to be related.
The same rule of thumb applies to neighbors. We can’t choose who moves in next door, we can only hope that it’s someone with whom we can get along.
And just like with family, there are going to be times that neighbors don’t agree.
We’ve got a tree in our front yard that is close to the property line. Very close. Less than a foot away.
It’s a beautiful pecan tree that has likely stood for more than 30 years. It’s been healthy, producing an abundance of pecans each year, enough that both the squirrels and my parents got a decent share.
The tree lost one major limb about five years ago in a huge storm, but otherwise, has only lost an occasional small branch when it died off.
But in the last two months, four branches have fallen. These have been good-sized branches of two to three inches around that appeared to be healthy, but appeared to have broken away from the outside in.
And two landed on the neighbor’s side, two on ours.
When our neighbors moved in several months ago, they widened their driveway and paved over an area that is where the feeder roots of the tree, which lie closer to the surface, are.
I began to have serious concerns that those roots had been damaged enough that the tree may now be dying.
And it didn’t help that the neighbors then came to me and said they had already hired an arborist to come trim the tree to protect their property.
Now, they could have widened the drive on the other side of the yard, where there is no tree, but he is correct when he said he has a right to do what he chooses with his property. But I also have a right to protect a mature tree that my parents and my husband and I all love.
So. I knew it was time to find a mutual solution, because we in truth like these neighbors. They seem to be good people, I went to high school with him, and we want to be comfortable with the folks next door — and want them to be at ease with us. We did not want this to turn into something that would be difficult to get past.
As it happens, the arborist they called is someone I’ve known since grade school. His father and grandfather both did tree work, and in fact did some work for my parents in a former house.
I know him and know he knows trees, so I called him. I told him I knew he had an agreement for work with the neighbors already and I was not in any way trying to interfere, but asked if he could come out and look at the tree and tell me his thoughts about its health, his plans for trimming on the neighbor’s side, and what I could do to keep the tree alive and well on my side, since the tree is actually mine. I said I hoped he could put aside any of the humans in the case and tell me what is best for the tree, to start, and we could work from there.
He agreed, and the first thing he said was “the tree is healthy.” I breathed a tremendous sigh of relief, and then we talked about why the tree was dropping limbs all of a sudden.
He explained that in the last five years or so, we have had much heavier winds during storms in our area, and it was visible that some of the branches had smaller limbs that were twisted by those strong, circular winds. When that happens, it creates hairline fractures in the wood that continues to get worse until the branch eventually breaks.
While the work next door had not stressed the tree to the point of killing it, it may have been enough to push already damaged limbs to snap off.
There were a few places he said he would trim, but planned to cut, as appropriate, to a radial branch or if necessary, to the collar of the limb at the trunk.
But he ddn’t think an awful lot needed to be cut, because as noted, the tree is healthy.
A few on my side need to be trimmed as well, but most are what are commonly called water branches, not essential to the tree and very small.
I was happy to know his plans and was OK to move forward.
But my neighbor still had concerns about his property, and I respected that. When I talked with our neighbor about what the arborist had said, I realized we had one last hurdle to cross.
The law in North Carolina says one has a right to trim any branches that are clearly in danger of falling and causing damage, but only up to the property line and no farther.
But my neighbor noted that there is one major limb that he wanted cut “because some day it’s going to fall.”
The limb is a huge one, a big part of the tree, and currently very healthy. The law doesn’t allow for cutting for “one day.” But he said his insurance company said if it fell, the damage would not be covered because it would be considered an “act of God” and he was worried about an expense somewhere down the line.
I pointed out that in our back yard we have the exact same situation — our neighbor has an even bigger tree with a massive branch that hangs over two sides of our fence and someday, that branch will fall. Mother nature is amazing but even she can’t keep a tree alive forever. But that does not give me a right to demand that whole limb be amputated.
I told him that if he was worried about repairs, if the branch falls and damages his fence, I will pay for the repairs.
Because the limb hangs over an area that is mulched and where his fence lies but not where he parks.
He asked if I would sign something to that effect and I said yes, if that would let him relax and not try to cut off a major limb of my tree (he could only cut to the property line anyway but lopping off half a branch is just as damaging) I would sign.
And then things were OK.
I don’t think that branch is going to unexpectedly fall off. I think we will know the tree is in trouble long before that happens. And I’m willing to give him some assurance that his property is protected if it eases things between us.
I am relieved we have been able to resolve it in a way that I think makes both of us happy. My lovely tree is safe and protected, and his property is covered.
We don’t have to agree on everything, but I do believe if we communicate, we can always find a compromise that will work for both of us. And the fact that we were able to find a path forward in this situation gives me confidence that should anything else arise between us, we can work it out.
This is our forever home — I am not moving again, I can’t take it. And he and his wife have said this is their last home.
We all need to live in the homes we love knowing we get along with the people next door. I am always going to be willing to try to find a way forward that works for everyone. I am grateful they were willing to meet me halfway and I do hope they know how much we appreciated that.
I finally slept well last night, knowing we’d saved both a living, beautiful tree and a relationship that I hope will grow over the coming years into a friendship.
It just takes talking to each other, listening to each other, and being willing to give just a little on both sides.
Elisabeth Strillacci is a former editor and reporter for the Salisbury Post.
