By Elisabeth Strillacci
Happy fall weekend! It is so incredible to finally be feeling the cooler nights and to wake up for morning walks and need a sweatshirt. This is, hands down, my favorite time of year.
Things are somehow softer in the fall. With the leaves changing, preparing to show us once again how to let go, I am in a more gentle state of mind. The colors of fall are so stunning, even though they are technically the colors of death or hibernation. It calms me, given so many recent losses, to think that there is so much beauty and peace in death, in the transition from here to what comes next.
And in that peaceful frame of mind, I feel driven to make sure all of my friends in this community remember something.
We can be on opposite sides politically and we can still be friends. My best friend in the entire world is a Trump supporter. And I think most everyone knows I am definitely not.
But.
She knows my heart inside and out, as I do hers. And I know if I need her, she’s not going to say “well, you posted something on Facebook that I disagree with, so I’m not coming.” She’s going to say “what do you need and when do you need it, because I’m on my way.”
And I will do the same for her.
I have had some push back on this from a few like-minded individuals. They say that in order to fight what we believe is coming, we must fight the people who support it, even if they are our friends.
I don’t think so. I have to have more faith in us than that.
I think we need to remember how to sit down over coffee and Danish or bagels or a bowl of fruit and talk. You tell me what you think, and why. I will tell you what I think and why. Maybe we can actually find our way to some common ground. Maybe in the mix, we can look at each other and say “hey, I didn’t think of that, I agree.” Or even “OK, I’m not sure I can get on board with that but I’m willing to think about it.”
And if nothing else, we can look at each other and say “OK, maybe we can’t talk about politics, but I love you, and who you are, and I’m not giving up the friendship because we disagree on politics.”
Because political views are not the entirety of who we are. They have been made to seem the pivotal point of judging others, but it’s just not true. There is so much more to each of us than politics, and we have let ourselves be led away from that.
If we disagree, I am not going to personally disparage you, insult you or try to make you feel bad because we disagree. Yes, I disagree with much that is happening in our country right now, but that’s not you. I can, and will, still embrace a strong and supportive friendship.
I will not allow the negativity that seems to be more and more pervasive to seep into my relationships with people that have been true and genuine friends.
So yes, if you are on the right, we can still be friends, even if it means we have a few topics we just stay away from.
But you’ve gotta meet me halfway.
I can’t help but think if we could all take a breath, stop for a minute and realize that the politicians on both sides have worked to divide us, and we are now playing their game with no consistently good results for either side, we might be able to bring this all back down to the everyman level.
We are not each other’s enemy. I am not yours and you are not mine.
You are my fellow men and women, and if you are in need, I will help.
Firefighters don’t ask who you voted for before they put your house fire out. Police don’t ask what your political affiliation is before they try to solve your robbery. Doctors don’t ask if you are a conservative or liberal before they save your life. My mail carrier doesn’t ask if I am a Democrat or Republican before he delivers my mail, he just puts it in the box (or hands it to me with a smile and a quick check in if I’m outside).
Even our pets could care less about who we supported in the last election. They just love us, totally and completely, and trust we will take care of them and provide a warm lap and pets.
And that’s where I am.
I’m tired of the false fights, the efforts to get us to be at each other’s throats.
We are Americans, tried and true, and we can disagree, come to the table and hammer it out, and still get along.
Yep, we can be friends. Because the people of this country, whoever they are, are MY people, all of you. And I both cherish and respect you and your right to make up your own mind and feel the way you feel.
Let’s keep trying to talk (not shout). Let’s keep having coffee and taking walks and being friends no matter what. We do still need each other, and I’m just not willing to give up on us.
Come on, let’s do lunch, my friend.
Elisabeth Strillacci is a former reporter and editor of the Salisbury Post.
